Saving Others
I've been bullied, I know the feeling of being alone but this story is not about me, a person I'd only known for about 3 months. He kept posting on social media saying how he was so lonely and sad. Much like the rest of our society, I stayed quiet. He said how people at his school are so fake and how they were talking bad about him behind his back, a case of some fake friends. I finally talked to him, I asked him why he really wanted to die line he kept mentioning, I said I know how it feels to feel like life would be better if you were just somewhere else but that doesn't mean you want to be dead you just need a break from all of it. He told me that things were so tough and he needed new friends. I told him that we were friends and that I'd be here for anything at any time and he told me I saved him.
-Sophomore in High School Jealousy StrikesIt all started in 7th grade with this girl, “C”. I didn’t really know C, but I was beginning a new friendship with my now current best friend, “B”. The friendship between the three of us started perfectly fine as most do, but that soon changed. There were obvious red flags becoming far more frequent. You know that one person you hang out with and you’re not yourself? That’s her. I noticed myself saying some rude comments and overall being more critical than usual. From C, there was an increase in little comments about my hair, or outfits, or anything really. I know this comes from a place of jealously. She felt as though I was taking B from her. I would try to get out of the relationship, but being that be had similar classes and shred friends, it was difficult. The problems just escalated. She would literally whisper about me and then glance DIRECTLY at me. Whenever I confronted her, she claimed she wasn’t laughing at me. Saying it now makes her seems just a little rude, but she made my life a living hell. I don’t recall every word she said but I remember coming home crying after school some days. Everything got worse when she became best friends with another girl, “T”. She had someone to control. They would laugh at everything I did in theatre, even if I was trying my hardest. It got even more troublesome when B and I were made fun of for lacking in development, something we can’t control. I couldn’t take it. My mom made a phone call, and C’s mom claimed that C had held me responsible for everything! I went to the counselors on multiple occasions. I was told to grow up. Are you kidding me? I’m being bullied and you’re going to tell me to grow up? Eventually, after a long meeting together, we signed an avoidance contract. Listen. Reading over this, it doesn’t sound that bad, simply because I’ve blocked many terrible experiences from my mind that I can’t list every bad thing she has ever said to me. My seventh grade journey was rough. Well, the following year, C started drama with another girl, but C wasn’t punished because they had “no record of any other bullying” at the office.
- Hillside Middle School Student |
Burning bad bridgesI had a very horrible experience in 8th grade. My school was going on the 8th grade New York/DC trip over spring break and I was only rooming with two other people, instead of three. One of them had to drop out, so it was only me and this other girl, C. We were really excited to room together because we were good friends. From the moment we got on the plane there was a problem. There were three seats in a row and there were four of us who wanted to sit together. C made sure that I was the one who was left out and I had to sit with total strangers behind them. I tried to get her attention by knocking on the back of her seat and she turned around and said, “Most respectful people don’t kick people’s seats.” I brushed it off and just focused on the trip. I was having a great time until we made it to an AWESOME museum in DC. My friend E, wanted to look at a lego Statue of Liberty and I started to go with her when I heard C say, RUN! And I was pulled up the escalator. We were running and there was a second escalator, so we went up that one. We were moving so fast that I fell down on the escalator. A security guard saw us and when we got up on the escalator he said do you have a chaperone? We led him to C’s mom. Her mom explained everything and he left. Her mom then went on to tell us that we were not in a playground and we shouldn’t be acting like we were. C cut her off and said why should we be lectured if some of us didn’t do anything. Her mom went on talking and C brushed past me and said "thanks!" sarcastically. That was a huge fight on only the first few days! A day or two later the worst fight happened. C texted in the GROUP CHAT (trying to get attention) that someone was moving into our room. I said no because it wasn’t allowed. She continued to argue that P (the person moving in) wasn’t comfortable in her room because of “sketchy stuff”. We continued to argue with the help of the other people in the group chat, E, B, and S. I was with E, B, and S walking around the museum. C sent a certain text that sent me over the edge. I broke down in tears from all the anxiety and stress. Thankfully I had the support of an adult and she wanted to have a sit down with everyone to talk. That never happened because later we thought everything was resolved, so we cancelled it. The rest of the trip C was being very rude and disrespectful and I had enough. When we got home, I sent her a text saying how I did not want to be connected to her anymore. She was being very defensive and tried to blackmail me with a blurry picture of us on the escalator. She said, “For all we know you could be lying about everything because you have no evidence but I do.” She didn’t come to school for LITERALLY two weeks (I’m not lying). I have since then separated from her and I am SO much happier. This was my bullying story.
-Santa Susana High School Freshman |
A ChildHood of Feeling Attacked
I can tell you that bullying is when someone with an upper hand uses it to bring someone else down. Not those little teasing remarks someone can give you on your outfit. The first time I was bullied was when I was in preschool. I remember it because it was one moments out of many that would follow after it. A group of kids in my class that were physically stronger then me surrounded me and pulled back one of my fingers until it touched the back of my hand in a little kids effort to break my hand. They didn’t break my finger but I still remember it.
The next year I went to a new school. At that new school there was a group of girls that would say things that at the time I thought were mean. One day they were drawing on the walls all over the school with sharpie. They called me over and asked me to write my name I asked them if it was okay and they said yes. I was blamed for the whole thing and the girls still went on picking on me through out that time.
In 2nd grade I moved schools again. I would get hit with balls on the play yard, and have kids laugh at me crying on the pavement. It became a daily thing. In 4th grade I moved schools again. At that point I finally felt like I made friends. In 4th grade sure I got laughed at but it wasn’t as bad. In 5th grade I got suffocated by someone who didn’t want me to play with them. In 6th grade I played with the boys at the handball court. There was a discussion of who won that ended with me getting pinned to a wall socked in the rib and cussed out at. The principle let the kid off with a warning once I decided to speak up. 6th grade was also the first time I got sexually harassed verbally by someone. Something that would follow me through out middle school. Those were the main times that I remember going home and crying. I began to grow a wall and my anxiety built up over time from these situations. I would feel like nothing. How come the pretty girls didn’t get this I would think. It was always why me. I felt like the odd one out. Everything I did seemed wrong. It seemed like it would never end.
To anyone a victim of bullying like I was I can say never change yourself. Never let yourself become a shell. Protected but empty. These times are very hard. Just know it is okay to be sensitive. It is okay to be alone. Wear what you want. Like what you want. These are the time you get to grow and find yourself. Also never hurt another from acting out on your experiences. Even if it is just emotional never make anyone feel the way you felt. It is still a daily struggle for me. Not bullying anymore but the anxiety that came from it. I still have moments of wanting to hide myself. I’ve learned that you should never try to fit in because you have a place. Trust me. If you try and change yourself you will never fit into the spot that you were given to with hold. You have yourself and though it may be tough to hear, that is the best person you will ever get the opportunity to be with.
-High School Student in Simi Valley, CA
The next year I went to a new school. At that new school there was a group of girls that would say things that at the time I thought were mean. One day they were drawing on the walls all over the school with sharpie. They called me over and asked me to write my name I asked them if it was okay and they said yes. I was blamed for the whole thing and the girls still went on picking on me through out that time.
In 2nd grade I moved schools again. I would get hit with balls on the play yard, and have kids laugh at me crying on the pavement. It became a daily thing. In 4th grade I moved schools again. At that point I finally felt like I made friends. In 4th grade sure I got laughed at but it wasn’t as bad. In 5th grade I got suffocated by someone who didn’t want me to play with them. In 6th grade I played with the boys at the handball court. There was a discussion of who won that ended with me getting pinned to a wall socked in the rib and cussed out at. The principle let the kid off with a warning once I decided to speak up. 6th grade was also the first time I got sexually harassed verbally by someone. Something that would follow me through out middle school. Those were the main times that I remember going home and crying. I began to grow a wall and my anxiety built up over time from these situations. I would feel like nothing. How come the pretty girls didn’t get this I would think. It was always why me. I felt like the odd one out. Everything I did seemed wrong. It seemed like it would never end.
To anyone a victim of bullying like I was I can say never change yourself. Never let yourself become a shell. Protected but empty. These times are very hard. Just know it is okay to be sensitive. It is okay to be alone. Wear what you want. Like what you want. These are the time you get to grow and find yourself. Also never hurt another from acting out on your experiences. Even if it is just emotional never make anyone feel the way you felt. It is still a daily struggle for me. Not bullying anymore but the anxiety that came from it. I still have moments of wanting to hide myself. I’ve learned that you should never try to fit in because you have a place. Trust me. If you try and change yourself you will never fit into the spot that you were given to with hold. You have yourself and though it may be tough to hear, that is the best person you will ever get the opportunity to be with.
-High School Student in Simi Valley, CA
BEing Excluded |
Standing Up |
I was around 16 or 17 when I got bullied a stranger was bullying me. They called me horrible names like "retarded", "fat", and "scum". They would laugh in my face, follow me every where I went, stare at me. They also didn’t want to touch or hold my hand when they needed to. They thought I was very gross. The bullying actually never really stopped. I just had good support from my counselor, my peer counselors, and of course my good friends. I still do get bullied, but the best thing to do is try to not let it get you down! You are way better than the person bullying you! Don’t let them win!
- Conejo Valley Adult School Student |
I got bullied in elementary school. I remember the first time I was excluded from a group was on the first day of kindergarten. It was recess and I asked if I could play with this group of girls. They looked at me and told me I should go play with another group and that their group was full. They were playing hide and seek with a group of three. I continued to have problems with this group throughout elementary school and even through middle school. The worst part about the situation was that no matter what they did to me, I still wanted to be a part of their group. I wanted to be one of the popular girls. It wasn't that bad until this new girl came to my school in the fourth grade.
We quickly became friends and even ate lunch together. However, like me, she also wanted to be a part of the popular group. We started growing further apart. I started catching her talking behind my back. I ran for student council in the fourth grade. I really wanted to be on it, but one day on the play ground I heard someone talking about me underneath the play structure. I heard the girl, who I thought was my friend, say she wasn't going to vote for me and telling others not to vote for me either. I told my teacher and the girl apologized to me. Next year in fifth grade, we had to line up alphabetically before going to class. Unfortunately, the girl stood behind me, as well as also sitting next to me in class. She would whisper mean things to me as we walked to class. She made fun of my clothes, told me I wasn't smart, and a bunch of other horrible things. I told my teacher and had my seat moved, but I also started standing up to my bully. I would tell her to stop and that I knew exactly why she would say the things she did. I told her she was jealous and she needed to get over it. She never bothered me again after that. My advice for people being bullied is to say exactly what your thinking. Tell your bully to stop, tell the teacher, speak up and defend yourself. I started using this tactic all throughout middle school and high school after that, and I was never bullied again. Also, don't strive to be one of the popular kids, it's really pointless and not worth it. My advice for bullies is to take a step back and think about what you're doing. Is it making you feel better? Are you wasting your time and energy picking on this person? I recommend apologizing and patching things up with that person before it's too late. - Santa Susana High School Junior |